“The most important thing is to just be yourself”

About Perfectly Prideful

Adam (26) and Ellie (17) are volunteers at our Early Intervention Lisburn project which supports children and young people in Lisburn, Northern Ireland. Alongside service manager Mabel, they support young people through our Perfectly Prideful group. The group supports 14–18-year-olds in the LGBT+ community, as well as their allies - people who might not be part of that group but who want to be there for them. The group meet to share common experiences or concerns and provide each other with encouragement, comfort, and advice.

Ellie: “Me and another boy at my school, Matthew, had the idea to start a support group for young people. And Adam and Mabel, also had the same idea. So, instead of creating two different groups, we came together to create Perfectly Prideful.”   

Adam: “As Ellie said, we had a common interest and a common goal to support young people in the community. It’s something I always wanted to do and something I wanted to create.” 

“I was already a youth worker before Perfectly Prideful and when the opportunity came along to form this group, I was very much interested. Initially, we worked with the Connected Minds Committee, a project that supports young people’s mental health. They helped us create an LGBT+ quiz night, which was kind of the opening for the group and the turnout was amazing.” 

“It was quite emotional for all of us. I'm a big crier, so seeing how everyone was so supportive and watching it develop was very emotional for me. As it started to grow, we did more quizzes and fun activities. I think we had around 25 young people join us on the first night and they stayed with us, helped us create the name of the group and all the young people were very involved from the start. That was around three years ago now.” 

Ellie: “There weren't any safe spaces in Lisburn for anybody from the LGBT+ community and there was no support for anyone who was maybe transitioning or anything like that. So, for me it was really important to create a safe space for young people.”  

Adam: “Being a member of the LGBT+ community myself, I had a very difficult experience growing up in Lisburn. So, I wanted to try and make a difference and provide the support to others that I didn't have growing up. So that’s why I got involved.” 

Adam: “In my role, I facilitate the sessions and really look at what the young people's needs are. So, I do an assessment with the young people, figure out what they need support with and give them positive encouragement to get involved in activities.” 

“For me. It's very much about what the young people want to do, and I roll with that. It’s important for me to make sure I'm bringing them opportunities that benefit them.” 

Ellie: “I’m a Volunteer Leader, so I help Adam whenever he’s planning the sessions or whenever we’re doing activities. I also make sure that all the young people are engaged with the group. I talk to them and just have normal, down-to-earth conversations with everybody to make sure they all feel safe and included.” 

Adam: “Not having the answers to everything. For me, there were a lot of challenges at the start with young people asking questions that we didn't have the answers to. So, it's important that we continue to engage with outside organisations and do training to better support and better understand what the young people are going through.” 

Ellie: “I think it can be hard sometimes to engage with some people who have a difficult time opening up about certain things, especially if they're new to the group. But I think it's class that we get the opportunity to meet so many people from so many different backgrounds.” 

a

Adam: “We’re working with two other support organisations leading up to Pride this year who’re going to be involved with us on the day. So, three or four weeks before the event, we're going to meet up with the other groups and let the young people get to know each other, get comfortable with each other and decide what they want to do this year for Pride.” 

“It’s important to us that the young people decide what it’s going to look like and that’s how we’ve always organised the Pride march. I personally hope there’s going to be glitter!” 

“In our first year we had a float with massive flowers on each side of it and all the young people got dressed up. A lot of the young people were quite nervous. They didn't really speak or weren't very vocal, but during the Pride parade they were the ones up in the float dancing, giving it stacks, you know, just being out there speaking to people, dancing and singing. That was amazing to see.”  

“We had some feedback from a couple of young people afterwards that it made them feel like they were part of something bigger than themselves. For me, that’s what it’s all about. It just really made it worthwhile going through all the stress and the effort of setting it up. You know, there were a lot of sleepless nights, but it all came together perfectly.” 

Mabel: “Up until around three years ago, we didn’t do Pride. There were no groups in Lisburn that participated in Pride, and it was honestly quite phenomenal how we came together with the community organisation we work with. They gave us their minibus to use, and we took the float to really put our names out there in terms of showing support for the LGBT+ community. And I think that in itself is a huge message.”  

Adam: “For me, Pride isn't about being gay. It isn't really about your sexuality. It's about you being your own person and being around people that care. It’s about being able to express yourself without fear of being judged and it's about everyone coming together.” 

“With my first experience of Pride, I was nervous around coming out and people judging me for what I was wearing, but there was none of that. People gave me hugs and people I’d never met were so welcoming and friendly. That experience was something I wanted to recreate with the Perfectly Prideful group. I wanted them to have that sort of safety blanket.” 

Mabel: “On the first Pride march we took part in, there was one young person who really wanted to approach a drag queen, but they were so nervous about it... I said, ‘Well I’ll come with you!’ And so, he built up the courage and went up and the drag queen was just phenomenal. She put her arms out and said, “Come here, my darling, come here!” He came away and said, ‘That's the best thing that’s helped me all day.’ And I thought it was just a lovely moment. It was beautiful.” 

Adam: “I would say that it's okay to be questioning things and it's okay to not have the answers or to feel alone. A lot of people can be afraid to be vocal about that, but I think it’s something you need to go through to be able to come out the other side.” 

“I often tell the young people I work with not to focus too much on trying to figure out who they are, or their sexuality, because that will come along on its own and those fears will pass. The most important thing is to just be yourself.”  

Ellie: “To add to what Adam said, I think it’s important to help people realise that who they are isn’t embarrassing or anything to be ashamed of. There’s nothing to be ashamed of about being gay, or being straight, or however you identify.” 

Ellie: “Even if you don't have all the answers, you don't have to understand something for it to be real. And people go through real struggles with their sexuality and with their identity. I think the most important thing is to be open minded, not be ignorant and just be supportive whenever people are trying to figure out who they are.” 

Adam: “I think having allies included in the Perfectly Prideful group is like a safety blanket for young people who are questioning but don't want to identify as LGBT+ or aren't ready for that yet. It gives them a chance to be around other people without fear of judgement. It also allows them to build friendships with other people who might be straight, but they want to be supportive and learn to be there for people. It just creates that safe environment for people to come together and build up that bridge so there's less segregation, less misunderstandings and less misinterpretations.” 

Adam: “Something that we're very passionate about in the Perfectly Prideful group is that everyone comes in with an open mind and a willingness to listen and try to understand each other.” 

“This is a youth group first and foremost. You're coming to a group, but it’s for people who identify as LGBT+ or feel part of the community or want to support the community. It’s a safe space for young people to come and do normal things that maybe they feel like they can’t usually do out of fear of people's views and opinions. So, the group is quite neutral, and it opens doors for conversations that you wouldn't necessarily have elsewhere.” 

Ellie: “I completely agree with Adam. It's important for young people to know there's a support network for them and their struggles. For me, growing up, I've never had any prejudice towards anybody, but being part of this group has really opened my eyes to how much that support actually means to people.”  

Mabel: “The Perfectly Prideful group started off in just a small room, and they kept asking for a nicer space. It took a while to upgrade, but despite this, the young people still turned up every week. I think that showed how it was more about the group and the people than it was about the building or the actual physical space. It was about those relationships the leaders built to create a safe environment. And I thought that was huge.”  

Adam: “For me, Pride means being a part of something that's bigger than myself. It means being open-minded to others and a willingness to try and understand them. It's like your family, or your chosen family. Pride isn’t about an individual, it's a collective.” 

Ellie: “To me, Pride is just being happy in your own skin. Not even just for LGBT+ people, but for people of different skin colours, different ethnic backgrounds and people from all walks of life. Pride is being happy in yourself and being around people who support you and who don't see you as a label.”