Tips on getting your child ready to start school

Sam Hoskins, our Healthy Child Programme Manager, has some advice on things you can do over the next few months that might help you – both! - feel more prepared for that first day of primary school. 

1. Start getting your child used to being away from you
2. Help and support your child to be able to use the toilet
3. Making sure they can feed themself
4. Skills to help your child thrive in school

If your child hasn’t spent much time away from you, try looking for chances to leave your child with other people such as trusted friends, family or play dates. If it’s possible start with a small amount of time and then increase it as they get more comfortable. Your child will then learn that when you leave them, you’ll come back. This way they can relax, have fun, and learn when you are away. If your child already attends nursery or a childminder’s, they will already be used to spending part of their day and week away from you, but starting school is still a big step.

It’s really normal for children to be tearful and clingy when they start school, but we know that doesn’t make it feel any easier leaving them! Although you might feel upset seeing them sad, chances are they’ll most likely be playing quite happily within a few minutes getting to know their new classmates. You might also experience the reverse, with them rushing in without a backwards glance which can be both a relief and a little bit of a blow. It can be tricky but try and avoid comparing how your child goes into school and instead focus on the new chapter you are both starting.

Your school might offer an opportunity to go in and visit with your child before term starts which is a great way of getting your child familiar with their new classroom before their first day.

Using school toilets can be a big challenge for little people. Your child might already be using the toilet independently, but don’t worry if they’re not. Children learn this skill at different times.

If you haven’t already this is a great time to start to start toilet training. As well as using the toilet, they also need to learn to clean themselves, flush, wash and dry their hands. If you can support them to get the hang of this between now and September, they’ll likely find it easier to settle into school.

If you need support there’s advice on the NHS website on potty and toilet training. If your child has already started to get the hang of it there’s information on the BBC website on supporting your child to use the toilet more independently.

When it comes to lunch you may have the option to send your child to school with a packed lunch, or they can eat food prepared by the school.

If your child is going to eat a hot meal made by their school they’ll need to be able to use a knife and fork and carry a plate or tray. If your child is taking a lunch box, make sure they can open it themselves, as well as any other containers and packets inside. You could try having practice school lunches at home together to get them used to how things might be done. There will be people at school to help them, but it’ll make their life easier and make them feel more independent if they can do it on their own.

• In England, free school meals are available to all children from reception to year 2, if they are in a government funded school.
• If you live in Northern Ireland, free school meal eligibility is based on whether you receive universal credit and your household income is up to £15,000 per year.
• In Scotland free school meals are available during term time to all children in primary 1 to 5, at schools run by their local council or funded by the Scottish Government.
• In Wales free school meals are available to all primary school children.

So it’s worth exploring what support you can get depending on where you live.

School is all about learning but if you can help them practice some ‘soft’ skills at home they’ll be more able to learn the curriculum and feel happy there. Remember to keep things fun, they’ll likely pick these things up naturally over time if you can give them the opportunity to practice.

Help your child share their needs, feelings, and emotions

There will be teachers and teaching assistants to support your child in the classroom. So if you can help your child learn the right words and phrases to use if they need anything it might help them feel more confident and get them any help they need sooner. For example: “What would you say to your teacher if you needed help with going to the toilet/putting on your shoes?” Remember to encourage the use of “please” and “thank you” – it’ll go a long way at school!

Sitting still and concentrating for a short time

No one expects four and five-year-olds to sit still and silently for long periods of time. But there will be times at school they’ll be expected to sit quietly and listen to instructions or to concentrate on a task. Some children find these things easier than others, and some will find it really hard. Don’t get too worried about this, your child’s teachers will know what to expect from this age group. However, you may be able to help develop your child’s ability to focus by finding activities they enjoy, then building up the time you spend doing them. Good ideas include building blocks, with bigger challenges each time or doing jigsaw puzzles, starting with a small number of pieces and moving towards larger numbers. Doing this regularly between now and September may help your child practice concentrating and be a nice way to spend time together.

Playing, sharing, and taking turns with other children

a

Parents often worry about how their child will cope in a class full of new children. Some children are naturally outgoing and happy to approach other kids and start playing, others feel more nervous about it. Explain how they can introduce themselves, “Hello, I’m […] What’s your name?”. Try teaching them phrases like “Can I join in?”, or “Do you want to share with me?”. You can also explain that sometimes someone might not want to play with them, if that happens it may make them feel sad, but it doesn’t mean they’re not a great kid and instead they should try again with someone else.

If you’re with your child as they play with others, try and praise them and explain what they did that was positive. It’ll help them repeat that behaviour in the future.

Doing turn-taking activities together like playing board games will also help develop these skills. You may experience negative reactions when they lose, this is natural. If you can, try and use it as an opportunity to help them find the words to explain how they are feeling.

Another thing you can do is try is playing games of school with your little one to help them feel confident about what they can expect. See our blog on things to do in the month before they start school for more details on this, but there’s no reason you can’t start doing some of these things sooner.

Starting school is a big step for both you and your child, but with a little preparation and lots of encouragement, this transition can be an exciting adventure. By practicing some key skills and fostering independence, you’ll be helping to lay a strong foundation for your child’s success in school.

Remember, every child adjusts in their own time, and there may be ups and downs along the way, but the important thing is that you’re giving them the tools they need to feel confident and capable. As the first day of school approaches, take a deep breath, trust in your child’s abilities, and look forward to the many wonderful moments of learning and growth ahead.

You’ve got this!