David*, a single dad from Belfast, and his children have been supported by our NI Early Intervention Family Support Service after David had to leave his job to care for his family.
David is bringing up his five children as a single dad after they came fully into his care. “They’re my whole life,” he says. “I fought for a long time to get full custody of them and if they had been still with their mum I don’t know where they would be.”
Although he’s worked all his life, when David’s children came to live with him, he had to make the difficult decision to leave work to care for his family. “They were tough times,” he says.
“I’ve seen myself go a day, maybe two days without eating”
“Food was a big concern for us. I often thought, where is the next meal coming from. My mum used to empty her fridge for us when we went round. I’m diabetic and I’ve seen myself go a day, maybe two days without eating, just to make sure my kids had food on the table.
“I was skeptical about going into food banks in case people would see me; I was worried. But the help they have given us is unbelievable. Every Monday they pulled a van up outside my house and emptied it for us, because they knew our situation.”
How we’ve helped David get back on his feet
David also needed help with managing some of his children’s behaviours and emotions, and the team at our NI Early Intervention Family Support Service have been there to support him every step of the way. “When I was really struggling with two of the kids, I used to ring Barnardo’s and just say, I need help. They would come and take the kids out for ice cream and bowling to put a smile on their faces, but to give me a break too.”
“The food banks and Barnardo’s have been a godsend,” he says. “Barnardo’s came into my life like an angel. I can’t believe how many good people there are around who want to help you. These people helped me with everything and without them I don’t know where I would be today.”
The food banks and Barnardo’s have been a godsend. Barnardo’s came into my life like an angel. I can’t believe how many good people there are around who want to help you. These people helped me with everything and without them I don’t know where I would be today.
David
“Barnardo’s also sorted us out with vouchers for a food shop and helped me to get grants to furnish our new house after the last house we were in got infested with bed bugs during Covid, when I was home schooling the kids.
“We were all getting eaten alive,” he remembers. “The house and everything were fumigated, but they came back. I told the housing executive they had to get us out of that house. We had to leave everything behind, we literally just closed the front door behind us. We had next to nothing and then we really had nothing. We had to start all over again. It was really hard. We were using towels as curtains. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.”
“My hopes for the future are for us all to be happy”
“The house we are in now is a bit small for all of us, I sleep on the sofa every night, which is fine as long as the kids all have a bed. As a family we have definitely had our struggles, but I think we’re coming out the other side. Everything is going in the right direction, thanks to the help of Barnardo’s, the food banks and all the other organisations.
“I have been pulled through the mill and back out again. So many people have said to me, I don’t know how you’re still standing, but I just don’t give up. It’s for my kids.
“My hopes for the future are for us all to be happy and I want my kids to be proud of me and know that I will always be there for them,” he says.
*Name has been changed and models have been used to protect the identity of the families we help
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