From caring professionals to foster caring: How Brian and Helen change lives

Brian had a long career supporting children and adults in residential homes, as well as working with young people who have misused substances and alcohol. Helen works in the nursery sector and during her career has supported toddlers who had been identified as being at risk of significant harm. Because of their experience, they have been able to foster several children with complex needs and although challenging, they have found it hugely rewarding.

“They can arrive very tense and may have really disappeared within themselves. They may be much younger emotionally than their true age” says Brian. “We try to create a calm atmosphere and over time we build a relationship and develop trust. Boundaries are set and tested, and we provide role models of how to behave.”

The couple have two grown-up sons and two grandchildren of their own and initially thought of becoming short-break foster parents (previously called respite care), but we supported them to consider long-term foster care and they haven’t looked back.

After a thorough assessment, they received training and still have ongoing support from Barnardo’s staff and other foster parents in their support network. Find out more about how we'll support you if you foster with us.

“Barnardo’s is great at matching the right child with the right foster family, they won’t overload you. They match responsibly and you get incredible support from a social worker and other foster parents,” said Brian. “I’ve had the chance to do a lot of training, everything from emotional literacy and speech and language to safeguarding and first aid, and it certainly helps.”

Both Brian and Helen emphasise the need to be patient and understanding about what a child being fostered, and their birth family, might have been through. “You need to be non-judgemental of both the child and their family. We work on developing good relationships with the families who often carry a lot of guilt after losing a child to care.”

Helen adds, “You need to be patient and resilient. When a child reacts because of the trauma they have been through you can’t take it personally, you have to detach yourself and understand that their behaviour is a result of that trauma, you cannot judge them for it.”

The couple wanted to make a positive difference to children’s lives and through fostering they have the opportunity to see children and young people flourish in their care. 

Helen adds, “When a child begins to develop robust self-esteem, confidence, and resilience, our own self-esteem rises too. Seeing a positive change in their ability to handle their emotions is very satisfying. We believe that children’s lives can be transformed by giving them unconditional love.”

Let's talk fostering today

If you think you could change a child’s life through fostering, just like Brian and Helen have done, we’d love to support you. Get in touch today and set up a no-pressure chat with one of our friendly team.