Sharon has been fostering with us for 10 years. Read about why she became a foster carer, how we’ve supported her and her husband, and what advice she has if you’re considering fostering.
Sharon and Andrew are foster carers from Glasgow, Scotland. As someone from a large family Sharon was keen to have to have a life filled with children. After fertility treatment didn’t work out, she was inspired by her experience caring for adults with learning disabilities to look into fostering. A decade later they’ve provided a safe and loving home to 10 children.
How Sharon and Andrew made the decision to foster
“It all started when I found out I had fertility issues” Sharon shares. “We’d been trying for years to have kids of our own, but it just didn’t happen. Fostering was something we’d always thought about when going through fertility treatment because we’ve always wanted to have kids in our life. Especially for me – I come from a huge family, and it was always important for me to have children in my life and have the whole family experience.
“I think my previous experiences caring for adults with learning disabilities also helped me realise I was interested in foster care. One story that really sticks in my head is about a family I worked with whose child was found with a huge bruise on his back one day. I’d known that boy since he was a baby, and he ended up going into care. I remember wishing that I could’ve taken him home with me because I knew he would have been cared for in my house. Even when I was still going through fertility treatment, that little boy was a driver for me in taking up fostering.
“So, after my last fertility treatment cycle, we started to think about fostering seriously. I got information from lots of different fostering agencies, but when I first got in touch with Barnardo’s, the feeling I had was different and I knew I wanted to go with them.”
The process of becoming a foster carer
After Sharon and Andrew registered their interest, one of our social workers visited to have an initial chat. “She discussed everything, shared lots of information and left us to consider. We decided to go ahead and then we moved to the assessment stage.
“Throughout the process, we had weekly meetings with the Barnardo’s workers who were great. They didn’t just focus on the positive stuff you hear about – they also prepared us for a lot of the challenges we might face and the difficulties we might come across on the journey. We did loads of training with Barnardo’s before even getting to the final assessment, which we passed.
“Just over a month later, we welcomed two wee kids – a 10-year-old boy and his 12-year-old sister.”
I was petrified at the start. I remember feeling so scared the morning before the kids arrived. But when they did, we had a chat and they went up to their rooms to play and it just felt so natural. Within half an hour, it felt normal.
Sharon
“We still had a lot of learning to do at this point and we were attending regular meetings with the local authority. But our Barnardo’s social worker was fantastic and supported us through it all. From the very beginning, she understood us and how we work, and we had a really strong relationship with her.
“There hasn’t been a single day I haven’t felt supported by Barnardo’s on my fostering journey.”
“In my experience of being a foster carer with Barnardo’s, I’ve never once felt alone.”
We know that to support a foster child, you need to feel supported too. That’s why we provide a round-the-clock helpline, a dedicated support worker and expert training, among other things, so you know you’ve always got help if you need it.
Sharon says that support has been reassuring in the decade she’s been fostering. “Even though you're working on your own a lot of the time when you have the kids in the house, Barnardo’s feels like part of our extended family because they’ve always been here to support us when we need them.
“If I ever feel unsure about something, or I don’t know what to do, the first thing I do is pick up the phone to Barnardo’s. Whether it’s one of our social workers who picks up that day, or someone else in the team, there’s always someone on hand to support.”
We are well-known by the team, and we even feel like we’re part of it. It’s never felt like anything but that in my 10 years of fostering.
Sharon
“At one point, we were looking after a girl with significant learning disabilities. It was tough because she had a lot of trauma and sometimes her behaviours were traumatising for us to witness. I needed extra support from Barnardo’s to give her the best care I could. Our Barnardo’s worker was amazing and never let us apologise for asking for help. She gave us the space and tools we needed to help this young girl cope with her trauma and also help us cope with the behaviours she was displaying at home.
“Barnardo’s sent me on a specific training course during that time – and they put all the steps in place to help me get there whilst making sure the girl was cared for.
“The support from Barnardo’s is really family centred. It’s based around the needs of your family at that specific time. It’s never one-size-fits-all – it’s tailored to what you and the children need which we’ve always really appreciated.”
What Sharon gets out of fostering
Sharon says that being a foster carer benefits her just as much as it does the children she looks after. “There isn’t any one thing I could pick out as the most rewarding part of foster care. For me, I did it because I wanted to be a mum – and the kids give me just as much as I give them.”
It's the everyday stuff that’s special for me. It's about being there, it's about providing a normal, stable life and being a constant for each other.
Sharon
“Being the person that can make a child feel listened to, respected and like they’re part of a family is amazing.”
Foster care provides a safe, secure and stable environment for children and young people who cannot live with their birth family. Placements can be short or long-term depending on the needs of the child. When a child’s time with their foster family ends it can be because they are able to live with their birth family again, or it might be that they go on to another, more permanent, home. Sharon says that, when it’s in a child’s best interests, being part of helping bring a family back together can be really special. “Being able to work with birth parents and helping children be reunited with their families where possible is also a really important factor for us. I’ve worked with a number of families in the past whose children were at risk. I always thought that if kids can be with their parents and feel safe, loved and nurtured, then that's where they should be. But sometimes, you have to look at the family’s needs as a whole in order to get there.”
Are you thinking about fostering?
The idea of fostering might feel intimidating, but Sharon says you shouldn’t rule yourself out. “Do your research – and never think you can’t do it. Because you can.” We’ll be there to support you every step of the way, just like we’ve been there for Sharon and Andrew.
“I would highly recommend fostering with Barnardo’s. They have the time and resources to support you, especially as a new foster carer when you might be feeling lost or like a fish out of water.”
Fostering has given Sharon and Andrew as much as they’ve given the children they’ve cared for. If you’d like to experience how life-changing being a foster carer can be, we’d love to support you.
Get in touch today to set up a no-pressure chat to explore how fostering could be the right step for you.
Is this the right time for you to foster?
Thinking about fostering but not sure if now is the right time? You’re not alone. Many of our foster carers felt the same way at first. To help you decide, some of them are sharing their personal experiences and advice.
"There’s a family feel to fostering with Barnardo’s”
Gillian and Megan are sisters-in-law from Northern Ireland with 13 children and several years of fostering experience between them. You can listen and read about their experiences of fostering.
What's the process?
Welcoming a child or young person into your life is an incredible thing to do - and a big decision to make. We'll make sure you have the information you need to work out if it's right for you and where you are in your life.