When you foster a child or young person, you have the opportunity to give them experiences they may never have had before. That’s what happened to Jem.
Jem has been fostering with us in the south-east of England for seven years. Her current foster child came to her six years ago, when he was 10 years old, and has been with her ever since. They've shared many special moments but here's what happened during one of them.
“I didn’t realise he’d never seen the sea. So, we were just planning to go to Bournemouth, and we got there, and he saw this big ocean and he froze. He didn’t know what to do, whether to go forwards or go backwards. It wasn’t heavy waves; they were just rolling. At the time I had my great-niece, my daughter, and him. My great-niece decided that she was going to dip her toes in the water, so that then gave him the confidence because she’s younger than him.”
The next thing we knew he was rolling in the sea, screaming his name, saying ‘I’m having fun! I’m having fun!’. That was just so brilliant, it was the highlight of the trip.
“We take so many things for granted. You take your own children here, there and everywhere and you think, ‘oh, they’ve been to the seaside, they know what the beach looks like or, what a restaurant is like, but it’s not the case [for all children].’ So that was brilliant.
If I’m going to take anything with me, that will be that moment. It was so magical.”
In the six years they’ve spent together, Jem has seen huge changes in the young person she cares for. “So many changes I can’t mention because there is so much. Personal care, hygiene, growing up mentally, physically, and emotionally. Him trusting us and us trusting him. You know, it’s a lovely family unit and it works.”
Jem’s advice to anyone considering fostering
If you’re thinking of fostering, Jem’s advice is to make sure your fostering agency puts the interests of children and young people first.
“I had a look at other fostering agencies and to me, they were trying to sell a product, ‘oh I will pay you this and you earn this’, and I thought no. Where is the welfare of the child? The training?”
“When I came to Barnardo’s, yes, the monetary side was mentioned but that was further into the assessment, rather than that being the selling point. They spoke more about the challenges [I might face as a foster carer], contact with parents and the health and safety aspect of things. I just liked the way that they actually went into the bedroom to see where you’re going to put a child is a safe place. I like that because if I’m going to give my child to even a relative to say, ‘oh could you look after my child for a week whilst I have as break’ you would want to know about the environment you’re putting your child in.”
I liked the caring aspect and the child centred focus that Barnardo’s has, and that’s what’s worked for me.
Foster belonging with us
We’ve been working to change childhoods and change lives for over 150 years. So whatever question or situation you and your foster child have, we'll be right beside you. If you’ve got space in your home and heart to welcome a foster child in, whether it’s for a short or a long stay, then we’re here to support you, every step of the way.
Could you be a foster carer?
There are so many things about you and your personality that will make you a great foster carer, but there are a few practical things you need too.
Why foster with us?
To support a foster child, you need to feel supported too. With our round-the-clock helpline, expert training, financial support and incredible community of foster carers there's lots of reasons to choose to foster with us.
What's the fostering process?
Welcoming a child or young person into your life is an incredible thing to do - and a big decision to make. We'll make sure you have the information you need to work out if it's right for you and where you are in your life.