Sana* from Rotherham shares her experience of getting support from our Tamkeen Project after being targeted by violent racist bullying at school.
Content warning: this story contains themes of racism and self-harm that some people may find upsetting.
Struggling to cope with racist bullying and poor mental health
“In 2022, I was jumped by a gang of about 17 girls in school while I was in a classroom,” says 15-year-old Sana.
“The attack was racially motivated. They didn't like Pakistani girls. They just saw the colour of my skin and said, ‘let’s go for her’.
“I was struggling a lot with my mental health after that, and I didn’t want to go back into school. I was off for around four or five months before I even started to think about going back.
“My mum started getting messages from the school saying that if I didn’t go back, I’d be kicked out, so I started to go back gradually, starting with just one day a week.
“Soon enough, I was back to five days a week in school. I was still getting bullied. It was an everyday thing. I'd come home and cry, go to school and then come home and cry again.
“It became so bad at one point that I was self-harming every single day, sometimes twice a day.
“Then, my mum got a message from my school to say they’d referred me to the Tamkeen Project. I refused to go at first, but my mum convinced me because she thought it might help.”
“When I first came to Barnardo’s, I didn’t even feel like a person.”
“When I first came to Barnardo’s, I was assigned Lisa as my project worker. The first time I met her, I was very self-conscious, and I didn’t want to open up to her about anything. I was mostly quiet.” Sana remembers.
“But after two or three times seeing her, I knew she was a safe person, and I started opening up.
“Lisa and I would talk about how to protect ourselves, and we did some work on understanding healthy relationships. I'm so much more confident now than I was at the beginning.
“When I first came to Barnardo’s, I didn’t even feel like a person. I didn’t know who I was and was just following everyone else’s crowd. But now I feel like I am my own person. I can speak up for myself when I need to, and I can tell the difference between right and wrong. I don’t think I would be in the place I am now if it wasn’t for Lisa and Barnardo’s.”
When I first came to Barnardo’s, I didn’t even feel like a person. I didn’t know who I was and was just following everyone else’s crowd. But now I feel like I am my own person.
Sana
“Lisa didn't judge me for anything. Unlike teachers at school who only know what they read about you on a file, Lisa really took the time to know me, and she never compared me to any other kid. She’s always there to advise and guide me.”
“I’m feeling so much better than I was a few years ago”
“My mental health is so much better now. I can wholeheartedly say that I’m feeling so much better than I was a few years ago,” Sana says.
“I feel like I can wake up in the morning now and not cry. When I go to school, I'm not afraid because I'm so much more confident and I can just do what I need to do.
“If there’s any other young people who are experiencing what I experienced, I would tell them not to keep it inside. Tell someone about it, because the more you keep it inside, the more it'll eat at you. I got to a point where I didn’t even want to live anymore, and I don’t want anyone else to ever feel like that.
“When I look back on what happened to me, I can see now that they were just little girls being silly. They were immature, and they didn’t know how stupid it was to do what they did to me. I’m glad I didn’t lash back at them because then I would’ve been the same way. But now, I’m heading for good GCSE grades, and I’ve been able to make my peace with what happened.
“I got the help I needed and I’m so grateful because if I didn’t have Lisa, I don’t think I’d be here today.”
*This name has been changed and a model has been used to protect the identity of the young person we’ve helped.
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