“I always try to teach a couple of simple life skills”.

Based in the West Midlands, Matt is a Store Manager for a supermarket and Trishun worked as a customer advisor before becoming a full-time foster carer. They were initially interested in adoption but after learning about the needs of children awaiting foster homes, they realised the positive difference they could make and changed course.

Since 2020 they’ve fostered a number of children through our programmes, STEPS and BRICS, which offer children a caring home environment to live in while they are waiting for plans to be made about their future. 

Sam*, then aged 15, was the first child they fostered.

Trishun says, “We were sent a profile of Sam who needed emergency care. We had in our minds that we would get a young child, so the reality can be very different. We just knew this young person needed our support.  We actually felt scared, but when we met Sam, it felt right. We didn’t doubt it for a second.”

Sam stayed with the couple for almost a month. During that time they helped make memories for him, giving him his first ‘proper’ Christmas. Matt said: “Sam had never had a Christmas with presents and games. It was a great day and has stuck with us as a real positive.”

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Since that time the couple have opened their home to many other children through short term placements. “The children who have been with us have given us a variety of experiences. And we always try to give them something to take away with them. I always try to teach a couple of simple life skills, like cooking, baking, how to do washing. You soon realise that not everyone is taught how do to those things.

“The difference we know we can make in that short period of time far outweighs any concerns we may have initially. We had a letter from one of the children after she moved on thanking us which brought me to tears. That was a real high. Her experiences with us have led to her getting the specialist support she needs. That brings comfort,” said Trishun.

Matt added: “The children come to us having experienced trauma and they’re hurting, so there’s going to be ups and downs. But we are happy, calm people who can offer them something positive to take with them on the next stage of their journey.  We have found that it is possible to have an impact and create positive memories for a child in a short space of time.”

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“We were at a stage in our relationship where we were talking about growing a family,” said Trishun. “We discussed adoption, surrogacy, lots of options. We started to get in touch with adoption agencies initially and Barnardo’s was one of those. They invited us to attend an information event to find out more. Fostering came up in the conversation as another option which we were willing to hear out. To be honest, it wasn’t something we’d thought about, but after learning some more we came to the conclusion it could be suitable for us. So, we agreed to the next step.”

Matt said: “I remember the defining point for me. Initially we talked about fostering to adopt as a route to adopting a baby. At this stage, we had a vision of what we wanted our family to be and that involved a baby. But listening to the age groups of children that are in need re-aligned our thinking of what our future could look like.

“We learned about the separations children go through and the trauma they can experience and started to think that our lovely home and our personalities would be well suited to help children in those situations. It can be upsetting and shocking to learn there are so many children who need a home and who, through no fault of their own, have just been dealt a poor set of cards in life. It made us recognise our own blessings and think how fortunate we are. That meeting spun our way of thinking around and we came away with a totally different view.” Trishun recalls hearing about the need for caring foster placements for children aged seven to eight-years-old at one of our information events. “That really resonated with me as my nephew was around that age. It pulled on my heart strings.”

When the couple decided they wanted to foster with us, the first step was a home visit from Louise, one of our social workers. The couple “felt instantly that we were going to do this.” Their involvement began at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic so most of the training and their assessment was via Zoom and WhatsApp. “The assessment is intense,” said Trishun. “But we both enjoyed it. We reflected a lot about the past, our childhoods and that’s really good to do.”

After six months of being assessed, the couple went to the Fostering Panel and were delighted to be approved for short-term fostering placements. “We were so relieved and really happy. It was like we had won the lottery!” remembers Matt. “But it’s true to say the journey is a real rollercoaster of emotions. One minute you feel elated and then there’s the realisation that this is real, we are really going to do this.”

The couple praised the continued support they receive from their local fostering team. Matt says, “Lots of people from Barnardo’s get in touch with us to tell us what a good job we’re doing. That gives us confidence.  And they are constantly there to offer support. If anyone is thinking about fostering, I would say just get in touch with Barnardo’s and find out more. The ongoing support and training is incredible and has made fostering do-able for us. I would also recommend speaking to people who are foster carers already. That’s really helpful.

We provide different types of fostering to ensure we can support and meet each child’s individual needs. This can range from offering a planned short break for a weekend, to offering a child a stable and loving family setting for several months or years.

STEPS and BRICS are two of our specialist fostering programmes. STEPS stands for Short-Term Emergency Placements and BRICS, Bail and Remand Intensive Care placements.

There are times when a child may need an immediate short-term foster home due to unforeseen circumstances. Providing emergency care at short notice means children can be placed in a safe environment sooner rather than later. STEPS supports children in this situation. These placements can last from a week to three or four months, but children usually stay around six to eight weeks.

BRICS offers an alternative to custody for children whose alleged risk has been deemed safe to be managed in the community. Foster carers provide care for young people while they await court dates for an offence they are alleged to have committed. This is an alternative to a young person living in custodial care before appearing in court. BRICs placements can be from one night to up to 12 months, but generally last around three months.

Find out more about different types of fostering.

Get in touch today to set up a no-pressure chat to explore how fostering could be the right step for you.​

*Sam is not his real name.