How fosters carers help prepare children to be adopted

This was the experience of Anamica and Prashan, who adopted their son Neel through us. They had such a positive relationship with the foster parents who looked after him before his adoption that they asked them to be Neel’s godparents.

The first time Anamica went on a date with Prashan, she told him she was interested in adoption. When they married they decided they would look at adoption alongside trying for a biological child. A few years down the line, when they found they wouldn’t be able to have a biological baby, they knew adoption was the route for them.

Now their lives and South Wales home have been transformed by Neel, a bright eyed two-year-old who the couple adopted through our Cymru Adoption and Fostering Service.

The couple chose to adopt with us after speaking to Ellie, who became their social worker. “The conversations we had with her right from the beginning, the information she gave us, there was a real warmth. We’ve had great support all the way through, and we feel Barnardo’s really care, we know they are there for us.”

Their adoption journey took two years. “I like to reflect on my life and experiences and found the process quite enjoyable,” said Anamica.

Find out more about what you can expect when you apply to adopt.

Anamica and Prashan were introduced to Neel gradually, beginning with a glimpse across a park while he played with his foster parents. “When we caught our first sight of him in his buggy it was a really emotional moment,” said Prashan.

“Once we knew he was definitely coming to us we had a couple of frantic weeks painting rooms in the house and getting things ready before we had a two-week transition, gradually spending more time with him at his foster parents’ home,” he said.

“The transition from his foster parents was done gradually and he was aware something was happening, but it was still difficult for him to leave the home where he had spent his first two years,” said Anamica.

“His foster carers had prepared him well and we made an audio book with pictures of every room in our home. He could press a button on each page to hear us talking to him, so he knew the house before he arrived and when we took him home for the first time he pointed at the house and said, ‘Daddy’s house’.”

“It was very emotional when he first arrived and very tiring, suddenly our whole lives revolved around Neel, and I realised that this is what it feels to be a mother.”

The couple wanted Neel’s foster parents to continue to be part of his life, so they asked them to be his godparents.

Prashan said, “It’s a joy watching him develop every day and wondering what his future holds. Seeing him learn to do up a button or say a new word, I never thought it would have such an impact on me. Today he said, ‘That’s impressive Daddy!’ and he hasn’t turned three yet.

“He’s also such a joyful child, he is so happy and playful, and he loves the outdoors, so we spend a lot of time at the park. I now have someone to play football with!”

Anamica and Prashan found that adopting a child is a dramatic lifestyle shift. Anamica said, “I used to spend my weekends watching movies and binge-watching TV series, but now weekends are all about the family. I love it when Prashan is getting him ready for bed and I hear his giggles. Seeing Neel growing and learning every day, kicking a football and playing with his buses and cars, I’m loving being a mum.

“People say Neel is so lucky, but we feel we are the lucky ones as without him we wouldn’t have experienced parenthood. I would say to anyone who really wants to be a parent to seriously consider adoption. There are so many children out there who need parents to love them,” she said.

Every child deserves a loving family and a home where they feel they belong. When children and teenagers cannot live with their birth family, fostering and adoption provides a safe, secure and stable environment.

There are different types of foster care, placements can last from a few days to several years depending on the needs of the child. A foster family can care for a child until they reach adulthood, but legal responsibility for them continues to sit with the local authority.

Adoption means taking full legal and parental responsibility for a child. It is a life-long commitment supported by an adoption order, which is granted through a court and is permanent. 

Nope! Some people prefer to be called foster carers, others foster parents. Whichever name is used fostering means children and young people who cannot live with their birth family can have a safe, secure and stable environment. Find out more about fostering.